It’s Friday afternoon, the sun is shining and people are happily making plans for their day. Amidst all this beauty I am heartbroken. I am angry…angry that a God who has the ultimate power could have let me become broken in the first place. That if only the events of July 6th had never occurred or resulted in different outcomes there would be no wound that needs bandaging.
I have felt fearful and guilty for being angry at him but have also realized he can take it. That he will still be there. That being angry doesn’t make me a bad human being..it makes me a human being. I am learning that I may not understand right now what his plan for Audrey’s life was, but that all I can do is trust her being here is for something bigger than I could ever imagine!
I do know that little by little each day I am realizing that certain people and events leading up to her death were not placed in my life by “coincidence.” Even before her death, he was preparing me for the biggest challenge of my life. That before my heart was even broken, he was already beginning to bandage my wounds.
Tutu Soon 