Those who live at the ends of the earth stand in awe of your wonders. From where the sun rises to where it sets, you inspire shouts of joy. – Psalm 65:8
I woke up this morning, while the sun was still rising. As I rushed to the deck to catch the last few minutes of the sunrise, I marveled at it’s beauty. For a moment….. I sensed you with me
This was the first sunrise I had seen since your death, that I had been able to drag myself out of bed for. The first time I had seen one in a long time, without you here with me. Since your death I have tried to avoid these most beautiful times of day. Maybe because my world feels so ugly right now, or maybe because you used to always be awake at these times, and we would watch every single one of them together.
Sunrises and sunsets have become something to me that means another day has come and gone again without you here. Another day that has left our family incomplete.
I used to watch them through sleepy eyes, only half awake most mornings, but today… even through foggy ,tear filled ones, I was able to see the beauty again. In the quiet of the morning, when all I could hear were the peepers in the grass, and a sound of an owl, I not only saw a sunrise….I saw God’s love. I saw your beauty. I felt the incredible and inseparable love that we had. A love that not even death has been able to conquer. Because of you, I have finally been able to see God’s love that way as well.
As the sun continues to rise each morning, and set each night….I will always love you. I will always think of you. In fact, my heart will continue to break as it yearns for you. I wasn’t able to save your life. God knows, I wanted to be able to more than anything in this world. But what I want you to know, and what I want to thank you for, is that that through your love…and even your death, you have enabled and encouraged me...to save mine.