I watched with excitement your pregnancy with sweet Audrey as she and Harrison were due so close together. She was born two weeks before him and I couldn’t stop looking at all of her pictures and how tiny she was and it made me even more excited for my own sweet baby to come. She looked just like her sisters and had a smile that was like a light in all of her pictures. The day I found out that your family suffered a loss that no family especially a mother should have to experience I was heart broken, my stomach hurt as I watched your heartache unfold over Facebook. I looked at Harrison and thought I will never take another second with you for granted, when you’re crying at night and all I want to do is sleep I will still feel grateful for your life. Reading your blogs which showed your heartache, joy, strengths, weaknesses, fears and every other emotion that can be felt by the human soul I was inspired. You have taken a beautiful short life and made it everlasting in those around you; although I didn’t get the chance to meet Audreys sweet face in person I will never forget the life she had and gave. I will always think of her on her birthday and how her life was so much more then that one day in July. Thank you for sharing your life with all of us, and Audrey lives on every day through you, her sisters, brother, father, extended family and all of us who got to be a part of her life in any way.
Whenever I can’t get Ellie to stop crying, I think of Audrey.
When I am exhausted and frustrated because Ellie hasn’t slept in days, I think of Audrey.
When she is getting into everything, pulling my hair, chasing after the cats, unfolding all of the piles of laundry I just folded, I think of Audrey.
When she throws her food all over the floor, high chair and herself right after her bath, I think of Audrey.
And why do I think of Audrey during all these frustrating times?? Because Ellie gets to have them. She gets to learn, to adventure, to grow, to laugh, and to love.
As you know, being a mom is very easy during the times when your little ones are happy, laughing and full of wonder. But often when those frustrating times happen, I hope they pass soon. I hope they won’t happen again. I sometimes think to myself “is this day over yet??” “I hope she grows out of this fast.” Maybe that makes me a bad mom, I don’t know.
But then I stop and think of Audrey. I know I never met her, but I saw her beautiful smile on Facebook. It was contagious. Audrey’s memory is with me everyday. She taught me that the time with my daughter is special, and I don’t know how long I have with her. Only God knows that.
So thank you Audrey. For teaching me to appreciate every single second. For making me a better mom.
I met Audrey through Zoe. Zoe our daughter also passed away from SIDS at three months old; three months before Audrey. Audrey’s life and death brought about a sweet friendship between Sarah and I; we understood one another’s pain, hurt, and ache of empty arms. There were so many days, that Sarah and I would encourage one another by the simple reminder that we weren’t walking this path alone. When I was having a hard day, I always knew I could message Sarah and she would get it; she has been such a blessing to me this past year. When Sarah shared she was pregnant with Asher, my heart understood the fear that came with that news; but I also greatly respect the courage she has had this past year and each day as she trusts God with all five of her precious children. Audrey, I’m sure you and Zoe have become great friends just as your mom has been for me! Thank you sweet girl for the gift of friendship!